Stuck
by aspire-to-be
Summary: Best friends reunited should be great, right? But only time will tell. Take a journey with Rachel, Cat, Logan, James, Carlos, and Kendall to see where this crazy roller coaster of life, love, and friendship takes them.
1. Chapter 1

Logan had been my best friend since i could first remember, literally, every memory since I was little has consisted of Logan. In those memories I'm just a small girl, about four years old, and he's about six he's two years older than me. I miss the days when I could walk three houses down and see my best friend. It's different now. I still live in Texas and he's living his dream in California. I always knew he would go far.

I have a wonderful life here in Texas, but sadly I spent the last two years helping out my family who's business went under. My mom had to start working again as a nurse, always working long hours, she was never home. My dad tried so hard to keep the business afloat. So, that left me caring for my two younger siblings. I had been the oopsie child, my mom had me when she was only eighteen, but somehow managed to make a great life for me with help from my dad. he two younger kids were only ten and eleven, so they couldn't fend for themselves while out parents worked so hard. I decided to defer college for these past two years to help out, but now on my 20th birthday i'm heading out to California to start at UCLA. It had been my dream since I was young to go to school here, I worked so hard to keep my grades up and I had landed myself a full ride for all four years.

Now that my family is back on top I finally can take advantage of my scholarship.

"Rachel! We're leaving in ten minutes get your ass down here!" My mother yelled up the stairs that morning. I took one last sweeping look at my old room and jogged down to the car.

The drive took two days and a total of 23 hours on the road. It was tough. My mom and dad had come to help me move in, but we had left my two younger sisters at home with grandma kurt, my mothers mom, they would only get in the way[not to be mean] while we were moving in.

I had decided not to live on campus like many other freshmen, I was two years late going into college so I decided that getting an off campus apartment that would make it easier on me. Living with a bunch of younger girls would not suit me. I didn't usually play nice, boys were better friends for someone like me.

After moving everything into my apartment my parents said their goodbyes heading for home. Luckily, they had left me with my car so I wouldn't have to walk the three miles to campus or take the bus.

As I sat in my newly furnished apartment overlooking the city I thought about him. Logan and I had tried to keep in contact at first, but that eventually faded as he and his band got bigger and started traveling. I had met the rest of his band mates, Kendall, James, and Carlos, once before and they all seemed like great guys. It would have been nice to have a friend in the city now. Logan had long since changed his cellphone number because of all the fans who had gotten ahold of it, so I couldn't try to call him.

Weeks passed as I got used to my new life, I had started classes and was really beginning to enjoy myself. I had made a few friends, mostly girls much to my dismay, but they were all chill so we got along well.

"Rach! Look what I just got!" My new friend and neighbor, Cathleen, yelled in my face as I walked out of the elevator onto our floor.

"What could possible be important enough for you to wait in front of the elevator for me to come up?" I sighed.

"well, for your information, I just nailed down two tickets and meet and greet passes to the Big Time Rush show this friday!" she squealed.

'Oh lord' I thought "That's great!" I said with mock enthusiasm. What was I going to do? What if I got in that meet and greet line and Logan recognized me? Or what if he didn't? Oh dear God that would be awkward!

"I know! I can't wait! I've always wanted to meet them! I absolutely love their music!"

We talked for a few more minutes about the show before I made a break for my room. I was terribly tired and now on top of being tired I was anxious.

The next few days leading up to the concert were agonizing. I could sleep, I couldn't eat, and top of it all I couldn't find an outfit to wear! As a twenty-year-old young adult I am very fashion conscious.

**a/n: so i'm finally getting back into writing after a year of none at all other than school. i really hope you like this!**


	2. Chapter 2

In the end I didn't go with anything too fashionable. The night of the concert I took a shower to wash away the grime of a day in the city, dried and curled my hair into loose waves, pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans, a denim wash button-up, and a pair of chuck taylor converse. I left the top three buttons undone on my button-up exposing a small 'v' of cleavage. I applied light make-up consisting of black eyeliner, mascara, and a touch of blush on my summer-tanned cheeks. I did a once over in the mirror, shoved my iPhone and money in my pocket, grabbed my keys, and was ready to go.

When Cat and I arrived at the venue it was chock-full of screaming 10-year-olds, oh how my sisters would kill to know I was here.

"Over here!" Cat yelled over the noise, pulling me towards a sign that read VIP. Once we were through security and the away from all the noise Cat let out a yelp of her own. "Can you believe it? We're going to meet Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James!"

I hadn't told her that I had once been best friends with Logan nor that I had met all three boys when I was seventeen when it was all getting started.

As we waited in line with about 50 other lucky girls Cat and I made small talk with the mother behind us. She had entered a radio contest with no intentions of winning and then one day she got a call saying she was the lucky winner. Her two daughters were around the age of my own sister, they were wide eyed and hyper. Honestly, I felt bad for the mother.

As we neared the from of the line Cat said "Rachel, Logan is totally checking you out!"

I stole a glance behind me since I had my back towards them, but his eyes were fixated on the t-shirt he was signing for a fan.

"Uh, no he's not?" I asked.

"Yes he totally is! He keeps looking over here at you!"

"Sure Cat, sure." I reassured her. As our turn drew near I began to freak out in my mind. This was going to be a horrible disaster, I thought to myself.

Cat was the first of us to go, walking up to James, head held high, giant smile on her face. By the time I had reached James for my own signing she had moved onto Carlos. making small talk like a pro.

I made small talk with the three boys, James, Carlos, and Kendall, before making it down the line to Logan. Each boy had made a similar comment after seeing me and hearing my name "You look really familiar. Have we met before?"

Cat would look at me each time they would say it like 'WTF?'

When I finally took my turn with Logan, he gave me a funny look.

"You know, you look so familiar, but-no it can't be." he said as he signed my tour book.

"Yeah I got that from the other three." I responded with a shrug. He asked me my name which earned me another funny look and a shrug. 'Oh well I tough to myself, guess he really doesn't remember.'

After that and through the first half of the concert I was bummed. We had been friends for fourteen years and he didn't even recognize me? Asshole.

At the halfway mark I started to perk up. Cat and I had halfway decent seats so I was really starting to enjoy myself. The boys were amazing performers.

They said something about slowing it down and they brought out six stools, one for their guitar player, four for them, and a sixth one, I'm guessing, was for a lucky fan. It was Logan who was doing the choosing, pretending to look way out into the audience, but everyone knew the back never got chosen. Then he said the words I will never forget.

"I'd like to call one Rachel Cartwright to the stage. I need you guys to help me find her. I know she's here somewhere."

Cats faces was white at these words, mouth hanging open. "THATS YOU! THATS YOU!" she screamed waving her hand frantically at the security people "This is her! This is Rachel Cartwright, I swear!"

"No, no that's not me, no." I stammered "Just, no"

But they took me up to the stage despite my protests. Why me? Why now?

As security helped me up onto the stage Logan gave me his winning smile that always won me over, but not this time. He ran to hug my stiff body, whispering in my ear "I knew it was you!"

He introduced me to all the boys and led me to my stool in the middle of all four guys. They serenaded me, but I sat there frozen. Logan could tell something was wrong, but smiled through the song anyways. When the song was over I said my goodbyes to Kendall, James, and Carlos, neglecting Logan and ran off stage and back to my seat. I saw out of the corner of my eye, Logan whispering into one of the security guard's ear.

When I reached my seat all the girls around me, including Cat, were screaming asking me all sorts of weird questions like 'how did they smell' and shit like that. When all that was over I sat back to enjoy what was left of the show, but a noticed the same security guard that Logan had been whispering too hovering close to me.

"Miss, Logan has requested that you come back stage to meet with him and rest of the guys." he said to me.

I was astonished, really after all that, and he still wanted to torture me some more? Somehow, I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of this. I asked the security guard if Cat could come, to which he said "of course."

When we were settled in back stage Cat looked at me and said "I knew he liked you! He totally called you out and now he wants to get to know you!"

"Too bad he already knows me." I said with distaste for the subject.

Cat gave me a confused look so I explained everything.

"No fucking way! Why didn't you tell me before?"

To this I only shrugged my shoulders.

As I was pawing through the food on the buffet table the door to the room flew open.

"RAY RAY!" Logan screamed swooping me up into a sweaty hug. Ew.

"Put me down" I said in a monotone.

"Rachie what's wrong?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face. The other guys sensed that something bad was about to happen, so they all slowly started to back out of the room. I could see James grab onto a star-struck Cat and pull her with them

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" I screamed "What's wrong is that I haven't heard from you in three years! What's wrong is that you didn't even recognize me at the meet and greet!"

"Woah! Rachel Marie, calm down" He spoke softly using my middle name "Look I recognized you at the meet and greet, but I wasn't sure, I wanted to say something, but you didn't look happy to see me so I thought it couldn't be you"

"Okay, sure, whatever. And the part where I haven't heard from you in three years? Or did you forget about that like you forgot about me?"

"Okay, yeah that's my fault, I know, but it's not like you tried to contact me!" He protested defensively.

"Oh yes I did, but you got your number changed and then I never heard a word from you again!" I spat in his face.

"Oh, crap, yeah you're right." He sighed.

"Yeah, oh and how about all the times you came home to visit your parents and never once came to see me!"

"Rachel you know thats a two way street, if you knew I was home then why didn't you come visit?" he retorted.

"Oh, maybe because I didn't know until after you were gone!" I yelled again.

"Rachel! Please stop! I'm sorry, I never meant to abandon you like that. Things just got so hectic, I mean I hardly even talk to my own family, let alone friends from my childhood."

"Oh, so now I'm just 'a friend from your childhood'?" I asked using air quotes "Last time I checked we were best friends who had been inseparable since my birth"

"You know that's not what I meant!" he pleaded desperately.

"Do I? Cause Logan, I'm pretty sure I don't know what you mean anymore. I thought you were better than this guy you've turned into. Forgetting your roots. Going back on promises. Leaving behind the ones who matter most" I stopped for a split second to catch my breath "Or maybe I never mattered at all."

With that I turned on my heel and walked out of the room. I could hear Logan yelling for me, but I didn't turn around.

When I reached the door I yanked it open to find four heads pressed up against it.

"Cat, I'm leaving, stay or come, I don't really care." I said defeated "It was nice seeing you again boys"

They all murmured their 'yeahs' and 'goodbyes' as I walked out. I was halfway to my car when I felt a hand on my shoulder yanking me to face them. It was Logan.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm not letting you slip out of my life again Rachel, whether you like it or not" he spoke in a soft and caring voice that started to melt my icy heart. He took me in his arms and held me like that for a long time. "Rachel, you have always meant the world to me and letting you go before was so stupid of me, I promise I will never do it again."

I pulled out of the hug to look at him, there were tears brimming in his eyes.

"Don't cry Logan. Everything will be alright." I told him in a calming voice, his eyes now glimmering with hope, "But you've got three years to make up for"

He laughed at this, bringing me in for another hug. We stayed like this for what seemed like hours before we heard people walk up.

"So is everything all better?" James said with and eager smile.

Logan and my eyes met, "yeah they're better" I said.

As we all walked back inside Logan threw his arm around my shoulders pulling me in as close as possible. Just like when we were teenagers, just like when I had the biggest crush on him. I looked up at him and his eyes met mine, he smiled kissing my forehead. I knew this was right, I was meant to be here with Logan, my best friend in the entire world, the one who knew everything about me.

As we all got comfortable on the plush white couches of the 'green room' Kendall started some small talk with Cat, who was in la la land.

"So, do you wanna go somewhere more private and catch up?" Logan whispered in my ear. I shook my head yes. We made our way to another secluded room with only a small couch and a rack of clothing. I'm guessing this was a dressing room for quick changes. We both took a seat at either side of the couch somewhat awkwardly.

"So..." I started.

"Yeah"

I looked at him and he was staring back with a complacent look on his face. We began to talk about everything that had happened over the past three years. I told him about my family troubles and about the scholarship to UCLA. He told me about filming, going on tour, and recording their two albums. We has missed so much over those three years that the conversation could have gone on for hours. Sadly, though, we were interrupted.

"Guys, we're about to head out, Cat said you guys got a ride here with friends, [no wonder I couldn't find my car, I thought to myself, duh] so we were thinking you all could come stay a my place for the night and hang out some more" Kendall told us after opening the door.

Logan looked at me expectantly.

"Well if Cat's alright with it, then so am I" I told them.

The ride back to Kendall's place was filled with a lot of laughter and chatter. Cat seemed to be really into Kendall and Kendall the same. James made a lot of small talk with me, asking me a lot of questions about my had this gleam in his eye the entire ride and kept glancing to Logan who sat beside me on one of the long van seats.

When we finally arrived at Kendall's place we all piled out of the large van. The boys tipped the driver and sent him off. Cat and I were in awe. Kendall's place was right on the water and it was a decent size and by decent size I mean huge. When we walked inside, the entire back side of the house was made up of large windows. The view was amazing, the moon reflecting off the water in the dark night.

"So, about how we have no clothes." I said noticing the obvious "There is no way I can sleep in jeans, trust me."

This made the boys smile. Apparently they all stayed here so often that they all had their own rooms, fully stocked with clothes. Logan took hold of my hand and led me to his room in the house. It looked like any other guest-room in a house like this would, king-size bed,T.V., and a door leading to a bathroom. Logan made his way to the small walk-in closet and rummaged through his clothes. He threw me a pair of black sweat pants and a teal t-shirt with the arms cut off. Very Logan.

"Sorry, it's all I've got." he said with an innocent shrug.

"Its alright, now turn around" I said with a smile. I quickly changed and did the same for him.

"Damn you look good in my clothes." Logan noted with a wink. Ah, there's the flirty Logan I know and love.

"You know what else I look good in?" I quipped.

"No, tell me."

"Nothing" I told him with a wink. his mouth dropped open in disbelief.

He had a response of course "I wouldn't doubt that" With that he came up and snaked his arms around my waist leaning in close pressing his body against mine. My heart started to beat quickly at his close proximity. His lips gently brush my ear as he gabbed my ass. "Ray Ray, you've changed" he whispered.

He pulled back and walked out of the room as if nothing had just happened, well I guess nothing really did. But did he really just grab my ass?

I found my way downstairs a few minutes later, after throwing my hair up into a messy bun. Kendall was the only one down there so I followed him into the basement where there was a large movie theater-like screening room, with three rows of couches. James had claimed a whole couch to himself as did Carlos. There were two spots left open on the occupied couches, one next to Logan and another next to Cat. The other two remaining couches had no cushions so I couldn't sit on them. I knew Cat would want to sit with Kendall who was busy fiddling with the remote trying to find a good movie to watch. My only option was to sit with Logan. Lord help me now.

Logan smirked at me as I took my seat on his couch. He had chosen a smaller one that had enough room for someone to lay down or two people to sit up. The couch was in the third row where no one else was sitting.

Kendall finally chose a movie and sat down next to Cat putting his arm around her, allowing her to snuggle up. I felt Logan snake his arm around my waist and pull me onto his lap. He turned his body so that we were both laying down, spooning. We had always watched movies this way, but somehow this didn't feel as innocent. His hand rested on my hip, tracing circles where my skin was exposed between his t-shirt and sweats. I have to say, I didn't exactly object.

About thirty minutes into the movie James and Carlo were asleep and Cat and Kendall were close behind. I felt Logan's lips press onto the side of my neck, sending shivers down my body. I had to be imagining this. All those times before when we were silly, hormonal teenagers he had never once made a move, and now after three years of not talking he was somehow interested? I was so confused.

"Rachie, when did you get so grown up?" he whispered in my ear kissing my neck some more and rubbing his hand down the length of my body.

I only giggled. WTF, me giggling. Oh jeez something is seriously wrong with me.

His playfulness continued. He began nipping at my exposed neck seeing that it brought me pleasure. I turned to face him, giving him a stern look.

"Oh don't pretend you don't like it." Cocky much?

I decided to play his little game. I whispered sweet nothings in his ear, running my hand down the length of his body, slowly massaging his outer thigh, slowly getting closer to his member. I could feel him harden through his sweat pants. I smirked as I brought my face to look at his own. His eyes were wide in disbelief, practically bugling out of his head.

"Do it, please" he begged as my hand got closer and closer "Please Rachel, please"

But at that moment I pulled my hand away and turned back around. I could hear Logan let out an angry sigh as I sat up and spoke to the rest of the group.

"It's getting really late, we should probably all get some sleep."

Every one, but Logan, agreed. As it ended up Cat was going to spend the night with Kendall, both of whom promised there'd be no funny business, which I believed. There was one last unoccupied guest room that I took for the night. I got myself ready for bed, but as soon as I laid down a text popped up on my screen

**Tease** it read. From Logan of course.

What did he expect? We had just reunited for the first time in three years, it's not like I was some fuck buddy.

I ended up down in the kitchen to fetch a glass of water. I had just finished pouring some from the Brita when I saw another figure appear.

"James?" I asked quietly, as to not wake the others.

He looked up, shocked, obviously not realizing I was there. "Oh hey, what're to doing up?"

He was shirtless. He was shirtless and hot. His chiseled abs glinting in the moonlight. Oh boy.

"Rachel?" he questioned, snapping me out of my daze.

"Oh, I was thirsty." I said directing my attention to the beach. "You?"

"Sometime when I can't sleep I go out on the deck and listen to the waves, it really relaxes me." he filled me in.

"Mind if I join?" I asked him.

"Of course not, I never protest when a beautiful young lady like yourself wants to spend time with me."

Thank goodness it was dark so he couldn't see the blush he had caused. We made our way out onto the deck. both of us taking a seat on the out-door love seat. It was a bit chilly out, so when I shivered James took me in his arms to keep me warm.

Who would have thought that out of all the boys, I'd be sitting outside at 4 o'clock in the morning, listening to the waves, with James Maslow.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you happy to be back?" James asked after a long stretch of silence.

"Yeah, it's really great to be seeing my best friend again. Things kind of went down hill once he left, I don't really like talking about it." I told him.

He left it alone at that and pulled me closer. I swung my legs up across his lap. It felt so right to be sitting here with James, cuddling in the cool night. We listened for a while, just breathing and listening. His hand that was on my back was rubbing it slowly. I looked up at him after a while. His eyes were fixated on the ocean, very calm and serene. He noticed the movement of my head ant looked down into my eyes, a sweet smile plastered on his face. Ever so slowly I brought my face to meet his, I let him close the gap. As his lips brushed mine a wave of chills ran through my body. He held me tighter. It was easy to get lost in the kiss. It was tender and soft, he didn't try to go any further. A kiss was all it took.

As we broke apart I smiled up at him. A guy I barely knew had kissed me and I let him. His smile was wide and loving.

'This is right' I thought to myself.

After a while we noticed how late it had gotten. I untangled myself from James' arms and stood up as he took my hand in his. We didn't talk as we made our way back up to our rooms, but he gave me one last kiss as we parted for the night. I passed out before I could think too hard on what had just happened.

The next morning I woke up around ten to Cat bouncing on my bed.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up." She prodded me.

"Ugh" I moaned rolling over and shoving her off the bed. "You're killing me"

"Oh hush, come on everyone's already up and eating breakfast, stop being such a lazy bum."

I looked up at her, right she didn't know about last night. Oh well, there was no need to tell her.

Before we headed down to the kitchen I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and fixed my hair. When we walked into the kitchen everyone seemed preoccupied. Cat cleared her throat to get their attention.

Carlos' head was the first to pop up "Good morning!" he sang.

The other boys mumbled their hellos, both James and Logan avoiding my eyes. Hmm, that was weird, I thought.

As everyone stated finishing up their food they all made their way upstairs to get changed for a day on the beach. Logan and I were the only two left.

"Look, Rachel, I'm really sorry about last night. I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was just seeing you for the first time in so long and seeing how much you had changed. I know that's no excuse, but it's all I can think of."

"Don't worry about it Logie." I teased, using his least favorite nickname.

"Ah, not with the Logie name again." He begged, "I thought we got past that in sixth grade!"

"Old habits die hard" I stuck my tongue out at him as I got up to place my bowl in the sink.

"Mean"

With that we both raced up-stairs, shoving each other to be the winner. Luckily for Cat and I, Kendall usually kept extra bathing suits around for when his family, namely his girl cousins who always forgot their own, came to visit.

"Dude, do you think his cousin's have big enough boobs?" Cat asked walking out of our guest room's bathroom, her top tied extra tight to keep it on. "Well of course it fits you!"

I looked down at myself in the teal bikini, my large c-cups filling out the top nicely.

"Sorry?"

I looked at myself in the mirror, my Texas-summer and California-fall tan glowed, my dark auburn hair neatly pulled back into a sleek pony-tail, damn I looked hot.

Ten minutes and a bottle of tanning lotion later we were out on the beach. The day was perfect. Sweet waves, just hot enough to swim, and cute boys on surf boards.

"Want to come surf?" Logan asked plopping down next to me in the sand, as Cat went off with Kendall to play in the water.

"Me? Surf?" I asked him in astonishment, "Logie, do you not remember how utterly accident-prone I am? The only thing I'm good at that involves a board is snow-boarding."

"Ah! Stop with the name!" Logan hissed, showing me "And yes I do remember, but, hey, you've grown since then."

He winked as he said that last part, so I tackled him. Did he not learn last night? We ended up in a wrestling match just like old times.

"Uh, whatcha doing?" someone asks as a shadow falls over us. The pair of us look up to see James standing there looking confused.

"We, uh, well-" Logan cuts me off.

"Dude, we were just wrestling, duh."

"Yeah, well you probably shouldn't be doing that in such little clothing, cause, uh, you know, it looks...weird." I look up at James in disbelief. He had been ignoring me since I got up this morning and now here he was having a hissy fit over two friends having fun. No, not cool.

"Uh, James, do you want to go inside with me and get some lunch?" I ask him, not intending to take 'no' for an answer.

"Well, not really"

"Yes, you do." I grab his arm pulling him back towards the house.

"What the hell, let me go!" James complains, but I keep my grip. Once we reach the cool air inside the kitchen, away from the views of the others, I slam my hands down on the counter.

"What the hell James!"

"What, I didn't do anything! You're the one who looked like she was about to bang her so-called best friend in front of everyone on the beach." James sneers.

"Uh, last time I checked, one- you aren't my boyfriend, and two- you haven't even looked me in the eye since we got up."

"Oh, well last night, I was just caught up in the moment. Sorry, if you thought it was anything more than that." James says crossing his arms over his chest.

"So, that just excuses you from acknowledging my presence at all? Even Kendall, who is totally into Cat, came to sit with me in the sand. If I had known what a dick you were, I would have never even gone to sit out there with you last night."

With that I walked out back down to the beach to enjoy the rest of my day with the other guys. Logan successfully taught me how to stand up on a surf board and I even caught a small wave. He also successfully managed to get my top off in the water. Asshole.

This new relationship with him was definitely different than the one we had before, but in most ways it was better. The hugs were probably the best part, he would just stand there for long moments holding me in his arms, like he was trying to make up for lost time. The way his muscles flexed when holding me tight, were enough to make any girl melt.

By five o' clock that evening Cat and I had decided it was time for us to head home. Kendall and Cat said their mushy goodbyes, kissing and all that couple crap. Logan was taking us home so I said a short goodbye to Carlos and Kendall and only gave James a nod.

The ride home was quiet. I watched the cars pass by, just thinking. How had this even happened. It was like nothing had changed between Logan and I and yet it felt like everything had.

"Home sweet home!" Logan exclaimed pulling in to the guest parking at out apartment complex. "I'll walk you girls up.

Cat gave me a look and went on ahead. What was that for?

Logan walked over to me and put an arm around my shoulders. We walked in silence up to my apartment, but no words were needed.

"Welp, this is me." I said as we came to my door. "Now you can stalk me."

"Noted." Logan said with a wink. "You'll have to come by my place sometime, just text me when you're free and such and we can hang out."

"Don't worry Logie, I was planning on it."

"Nickname, not cool!" I stuck my tongue out at him. "Seriously though, I don't want to lose you again."

I could see the seriousness in his facial expression so I pulled him in for a hug.

"You're not going to lose me ever again, I promise" I said into his chest. His arms tightened around me. I wanted to cry in this moment as a strange feeling came over me. I didn't want this hug to end, I wanted to stay in his arms forever. Nothing in the world mattered more to me than him at that very moment. I knew what this was because I had only felt it once before.


	5. Chapter 5

We pulled apart and Logan placed a delicate kiss on my cheek before saying goodbye and leaving. As I watched him walk away I fumbled around with my key, trying to get it into the lock. When Logan reached the elevator he got in and gave a chuckle at my struggle. Rude.

When I made it into my apartment I plopped down onto my couch, not bothering to turn on any lights. I thought back to the one other time that I had felt like I just had with Logan. It was the night before Logan left for good three years ago. We were home alone, our parents at some benefit for the polar bears or something. I don't know how it happened or why, but that night we both gave each other something we couldn't take back.

As we laid there, chests heaving, wrapped in his bed sheets, I looked at him and felt this very same feeling. I knew he was leaving the next day and I knew there was no chance, so I had let it go. I had quickly gotten dressed and made an excuse to go home. 'What did I just do' I had thought to myself that night. The next morning we said our goodbyes and everything was back to normal.

I pulled myself out of my flash-back and headed into my bathroom to shower. The next 32 hours went by in a flash. I had so much studying and homework to do. I overslept on Monday so I pulled on a simple pair of jeans, an aqua colored short sleeve v-neck, a black zip-up hoodie, and my trusty chuck taylor converse. Usually I tried to look a little fashionable, but getting coffee was more important than my looks this morning.

After all my classes were done I came home and collapsed, yet again, on my couch. Damn, that was one hell of a day. All I wanted to do was to curl up with a movie and some hot wings, yeah weird I know, but of course as soon as I pick up my phone to order in, it starts ringing.

"What" I demand when answering.

"Woah chill Ray, it's just you're best friend in the entire world!" Logan exclaimed through the phone.

"I'm waiting."

"Okay, jeeze Miss Sassy Pants, I was wondering if you're home, I'm really close and wanted to see if you'd wanna come to my place for a little."

I pondered this for a moment. I didn't have classes on Tuesdays, so that meant if I got in late I could sleep in.

"Sure"

"Yes! I'll see you in ten!"

"Hold on!" I stopped him before he hung up.

"What?"

"You're getting me hot wings."

"Oh, rough day, I see. No problem, I will." With that Logan hung up.

I couldn't stand to be in my jeans another minute, so I went to my room and changed into my Victoria's Secret sweats and a 'Pink' top. So much better.

When he texted me that he was here I grabbed my Marc Jacobs tote that had my life in it and headed out the door.

"Hey, Ray Ray!" Logan exclaimed, picking me up in a hug as I walked out to his car. Oh dear God he was hyper. Save me now.

"Oh, yeah, hi there."

"You look cute"

"Thanks for lying" I said as he put me down.

"No, I really think you look cute, you always look cute" he said earnestly as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and out of my face.

"Yeah, okay, time to go." I said pulling away and hopping into the car. WTF?

When we arrived at, what I assumed to be, Logan's apartment, I was blown away.

"You live in this huge place all by yourself?" I asked in, taking in the enormity of the living space.

"Yup. And there's an upstairs!" He said excitedly.

"No shit? I thought the stairs were there for decoration."

There was a nice sized kitchen sitting in front of me, followed by and living/dining room. Off to both sides were two bedrooms. We made our way upstairs and there was another bedroom with a huge bathroom and its own private deck.

"Holy-" But Logan cut me off

"Yeah, it's awesome, and the view? Even better."

We walked out onto the deck and stood there for what seemed like ages until Logan said "So, movie time?"

As we sat down on the couch I snatched the remote.

"No! I'm not going to watch one of your sappy girl movies" Logan complained.

"Too bad!"

I flicked through the On Demand options and chose 'Just Go With It.'

"Seriously Rach?"

"It has Adam Sandler, you'll live." I retorted to his complaint.

As the movie started Logan pulled me closer to him, putting his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him and snuggled up. The warmth of his body radiated against mine, his hand gently stroking my hair. It felt so right to be here in Logan's arms. It was like the world had stopped moving and all there was, was us. The hand that wasn't preoccupied with my hair slowly made its way over to mine, his fingers laced with mine. The movie wasn't even half over and this was already happening. I looked up at him to see a peaceful smile on his face. Ever so slowly his eyes met my own.


	6. Chapter 6

"So what about those hot wings?" Logan jokes with me.

"Yes please!" I say as Logan grabs his phone.

Thirty minutes later and we're sitting there, both with a dozen hot wings, just enjoying the movie and each others company.

"Damn, they were so good!" I exclaim setting down the remains of my last wing. I look over at Logan's pile seeing he still has about four left, so I snag one for myself.

"Hey! Thats mine and you have your own!" Logan whines, but then he notices all of mine are gone. "How the hell did you eat a dozen wings that fast?"

"I'm awesome." I answer him getting up from the couch and disposing of my trash. I wash my hands in his kitchen sink before returning to the living room. The movie has finished by now and Logan had inhaled the last three wings he had left.

"What now?" I ask.

After he disposes of his own trash and cleans up the down stairs he leads me back up to his room, pulling me into his closet.

"Oh my, this thing is HUGE!"

Logan only chuckles at my statement and pulls some drawers open. What he pulls out, though, was not what I was expecting. A bikini and board shorts.

"Uh?"

"We're going to the pool. Its closed now, but I have a deal with the night manager so I can go anytime I want during the night." Logan states.

We change and grab some towels before heading to the pool. The only light on is the one in the actual pool. The skyline of Los Angeles is absolutely breathtaking. After I put my towel down and discard my t-shirt, I feel a pair of hand grab my waist pushing me forward. Next thing I know I'm splashing around the deep end.

"Logan!" I whisper-yell as he surfaces. He swims over and takes me by the waist.

"Now, did you really think I wouldn't do that?" He teases with a smile.

I took this moment of calm to dunk him. Yeah, mess with this bitch.

"Not cool, Ray, not cool."

"You deserved it."

After some fun in the pool we both decided the chilly night was best spent in the hot tub. As I stepped in the heat took over my body. It was so hot, yet it felt so good. I could see Logan looking at me as I enjoyed this moment of pleasure, I couldn't read his face though. He looked conflicted, wanting, and mad at the same time. Weird boy.

His movements are fast, before I even realize what going on, his lips are on mine. Its a tender kiss. Soft and slow. His hand is creeping up my arm to my neck and then its tangled in my messy hair. I've never been kissed like this before. It's slow and passionate. Rough, but gentle.

He pulls away resting his forehead on mine, breathing heavily. I can feel his warm breath on my lips and I still haven't opened my eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't have time to react before he placed a second kiss on my lips. This time his hands wrap around my waist, pulling me on to straddle his lap. I can't think of anything but this kiss. We had kissed before, but that was quick and rushed...and three years ago. His grip on my body was so tight, I could tell he didn't want to let go.

As we pulled apart for the second time we both just started into each other's eyes. I could see the lust in his eyes, the clear wanting for me.

Without saying a word we both got out of the steaming water and went to towel off. No words were spoken on the elevator ride back to his apartment.

He was always quick, but gentle in his movements, softly slamming me up against his apartment door, reaching down to grab my legs so I could wrap them around his body. He carried me like this, all the while placing tender kisses on lips and neck.

We made it up to his room quite quickly. He threw me down onto the bed, hands at either side of my head, looking down at me. His right hand lifted, I could feel the weight shift next to my head, my eyes were locked on his, nothing else mattered. His fingers ever so lightly traced the side of my face, neck, and dangerously close to my breast.

I started to sit up as he began to stand straight.

"I'm cold" I told him shivering.

"I-uh-you can barrow some clothes if you want" he told me, taking my hand and leading me to his closet once more. He pulled out a pair of big, comfy looking Campion sweats and a wife-beater. "Here"

He pulled some clothes out for himself and I headed for his bathroom, grabbing my tote on the way. I took my time in there. Carefully removing the bikini, pulling on my own undergarments, and his clothing. I stared at myself in the mirror, hair a mess and make-up smeared. I decided to throw my hair into a messy bun and clean up my face a bit.

When I emerged from the bathroom Logan was propped up against his head board flipping through late-night shows. He turned to look at me for a brief moment, his eye were bright and happy.

"So, do you want a guest room or would you rather sleep with your best friend?" he asked, turning his attention back to the television.

"Uh, it doesn't matter" I said wringing my wrists.

He patted the empty room next to him, so I took this as an invitation. When I got into the bed and underneath the covers I turned my back to him. Obviously whatever had happened was over now. But then the room grew dark and there was no more soft buzzing of the television. I felt Logan shift in the bed, placing a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to lay flat. He hovered above me, looking straight into my eyes. Then he kissed me again. The soft kiss made me shudder.

He was leaning on one elbow from what I could tell and his other hand snaked its way up to the middle of my bare stomach. This kiss was more passionate, his tongue begging for entrance to my own. I obliged, of course. Logan was a great kisser, I can tell you that much. As our mouths worked together as one, the sexual frustration grew.

His hand slowly made its way up my torso to my breast, taking a right turn to the clasp in the back. There was no need for the look asking for permission as with other guys. He managed to swiftly undo the clasp, pulling the strap with him as his hand rounded my front again. He slowly pulled down both shoulder straps. In less than a minute my bra laid on the floor next to the bed.

Logan pulled away after throwing it, sitting up. I sat up with him, confused, but then i understood. I slowly bad my way over to him straddling his lap, on my knees. He took my mouth in his own again, his hands slowly inching my shirt off. I did the same to him. Hey if I was loosing my shirt, so was he.

Logan was the one to break the kiss again. He took me in. Three years since he'd seen me, three years and I had matured even more. His hands made their way up my torso, lightly brushing my breasts. The kissing began again.

Slow kisses trailed their way down my neck and into my cleavage. Logan gave each breast fair attention. Never once did her he hesitate...

"GOOOOOOOD MORNING LOS ANGELES IT IS SEVEN AM AND ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY!" were the first words I heard as I awoke the next morning. I looked around, a little dazed and confuse. Where the fuck was I.

OH SHIT. Now I remember.

The warm hands enveloping my body, the fact that both our bodies were unclothed. Did we? No? SHIT. I can't even fucking remember.

As the alarm kept going off, it rose in volume, finally managing to wake Logan.

I heard him yawn as his hands left my body and went into a stretch.

"Morning" he said in his groggy tone. I turn over and look at him with wide eyes. His hard member brushing my thigh at the close proximity. Morning wood. Right.

"Looks like little Logan wants some more attention from Ray Ray." Logan said, a pleased smile on his face as he turned on his back, removing his covers, pointing to his large pride that was standing straight.

"Wow" I said out of disgust. I wrapped the throw blanket around my body as I grabbed my stuff and headed into the bathroom.

After a long shower, a few face palms, and getting ready, I walked about to find Logan fully dressed.

"I've got to go down to the rehearsal space, do you mind coming with me, then I can take you home, or something, after?" He asked.

I gave him a small nod, gathering my things and heading down to his car.

A while late we pulled up to a warehouse. The other three boys where there already, along with, what seemed to be, a whole production crew.

_Logan's POV_

_When we walked into the warehouse I headed straight for the boys. Rachel was angry and I didn't have time to deal with her imminent eruption. _

_I walked up to the boys who were all staring with funny expressions on their face._

"_You two totally fucked!" Kendall exclaimed._

_James said "So what are you two together now or something?" Logan could detect, what he thought to be, a hint of jealousy in James' question. _

"_No and yes" Logan answered them both._

_**A/N- OHHHHH yay, okay finally i'm finished. but the question remains...what was Logan saying yes to and what was he saying no to? oooh DRAMA!**_


	8. Chapter 8

"_What do you mean yes and no?" Carlos demands._

"_Look, we didn't sleep together, but we see hook up. And I don't know if I want to be in a relationship right now, so I kind of acted like a dick this morning." I explain._

"_Are you stupid!" James whisper yells._

_I was confused now. Why was James so angry? Why did I have to be stupid like he said? I'm an idiot. No I can't be with her, its not right. We've been friends for so long and we can't fuck that up. We've just gotten back into our friendship. What have I done? I've screwed everything up, she probably hates me now. Shit._

Rachel's POV

My mind was blank. I could see the guys rehearsing, but I couldn't hear the music. I could see Logan's lips move as he came over when things were done. I just sat there. Everything was silent. Was I in shock? Damn this is so weird.

But then James approaches me, "Rachel? Hey sweetie, are you alright?" He questions me.

I shrug my shoulders. I can hear him, thats a plus. He takes my hand and helps me up, putting his coat around my shoulders. I can tell I 'm still in a daze, but it's starting to get easier.

"Come on Rachel, I'll take you home." James tells me putting his arm around my shoulder, leading me out the doors.

After he gets me situated in his car I see him walk over to Logan. I guess he explains that he's taking me home because Logan looks at me with sad eyes, nods, and gets in his car.

The drive home with James was nice, he was a real gentleman. He asked me if I wanted to talk about what was going on with Logan, but I turned him down. I wasn't much in the mood to talk about him. So James made other conversation, telling me about every little cute thing his new dog Fox did to how there was going to be a beach party at Kendall's house.

"Come on, you have to come!" he exclaimed giving me a side glance. "Bring Cat, come on, I'll be your party buddy, I won't leave your side all night"

I contemplated this. He seemed to have gotten over his asshole-post-kiss persona, and seemed to be back to the guy on the deck that night.

"Fine, but if you abandon me for some hot girl with no clothes on, I'll kick you in the nuts, and don't think I wont!" I told him as I got out of his car, arriving at my apartment complex.

"Don't worry!" His told me, getting out to give me a hug. "I won't leave your side all night"

That Friday night I stood in front of my small walk-in closet, just staring. Cat sat on my bed, all ready to go.

"What do I wear?" I asked her. I honestly felt like I had no clothes.

Cat walks over to my closet and pulls out a pair light wash, low riding, skinny-jeans, with holes, and a tank top.

"It'll probably get colder as the night goes on, so bring your striped zip-up." She told me handing me the clothes.

I carefully slipped into my clothes so not to ruin my light and perfect make-up, and we were out the door.

When we arrived at the party, James was already on the front porch ready to greet us. It was true, he wasn't going to leave my side all night.

With a smile and a hot boy with his arm slung over my shoulder, I entered the party. But, of course, the first thing I see when walking in is Logan with a girl on his lap and tongue down her throat. OF COURSE.


	9. Chapter 9

"Shit, Ray, I'm so sorry" James says pulling me into the kitchen away from Logan and the blonde slut.

"No, it's okay James, you didn't know they'd be there" Just let it go, I tell myself.

"So, can I get you something to drink?" He asks me.

I scan the beverage selection, there's an array of soda's, water, mixers, vodka, beer, and other alcohol based drinks.

"Meet me on the deck with two shot glasses in five" I tell him. I grab a bottle of absolut and headed out to the deck. There's a few people mingling, but most are inside dancing.

"Shots?" James asks curiously, sliding the back door closed blocking out most of the noise.

I just take the glasses and fill them to the brim, handing him one.

"Cheers" I say clinking my glass with his. I throw back the shot, enjoying the burn it causes in my throat.

"Like a true lady" James comments with a wink.

Three shots in and I'm starting to feel it. I leave James on the deck for a moment to turn on the outside speakers. I see that Logan and his slut have moved to the living room, gross. I head back outside to join James. The music is pumping through the speakers and I let the music take control. More people have wandered out onto the deck creating a small crowd. The bodies are moving and the hips are grinding. I grab James and press my body against his, turned on at the touch of his hands on the sliver of skin between my shirt and jeans. Our bodies fit together perfectly, his hips grinding against mine in perfect rhythm. The alcohol is making our bodies hot. After a while of some intense and sexual dancing we both head inside to get a drink to cool off.

Logan is still sitting there with his girl, going at it hard than before.

"Ew, get a room" I scoff as I head for the adjoining kitchen.

Logan gets up and stomps over to me, getting in my face.

"Shut it, you're just jealous cause I have someone and you don't." He spits out at me.

"Oh, you wish, I could have any guy here, even James."

"Fat chance" he remarks.

Now I'm pissed. Who the fuck does he think he is? I look at James. It wouldn't be using him right? I try to work things out in my head. No, I really do have feelings for James. Yeah, this is okay.

I walk over to James, covering his eyes with my hands. This is it, I think to myself. He turns around, smiling at me and grabbing me by the waist. I flatten my hands against his chest. Slowly I bring my head up to meet his, letting him close the gap. The kiss is sexy and sensual, his hands taking my face in them. Our tongues are in a battle for dominance. He lifts me on to the counter, deepening the kiss.

I lose any lingering thoughts of Logan and get lost in kiss. James pulls away, looking straight into my eyes. His body says he wants to go upstairs and have our own private party, but his eyes are soft and full of thought.

"I don't want to hurt you Ray," He tells me "but I don't want what's between us to end."

I can't form words. I only nod, yes, and kiss him again, hoping he'll understand what I mean. This is what I'd been looking for, a guy who wants me, someone to love me, someone to take away my pain. Someone who could possibly understand my darkest secret.

a/n: soooo what's the deep dark secret? =D 3


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